Heartlanders are still bringing in the harvest and enjoying a very mild autumn. As Election Day approaches, most voters are once again trending back to whatever political party they are registered to vote in and will likely, symbolically, pull the lever for Democratic or Republican candidates dutifully unless there is a personal connection. Campaign shenanigans are nearly over, the dreaded October Surprise stayed tucked away for another day, and it’s all hands on deck for an election hangover.
Rest assured, about half the country will still be angry come Wednesday morning, but which half? Heartlanders wonder what will happen to Alaska’s decoy Dan Sullivan once he’s found, why another effeminate man is adding to his ever-expanding Record of Arrests and Prosecutions (Rap sheet), and why they’re miffed about having to change their clocks this weekend. Ah, the sweet smell of bipartisan unity.
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