The United Kingdom announced Tuesday it will place a lifetime ban on tobacco products for anyone born in 2009 or after, in a major power-sharing agreement struck between government euthanizers and migrant knife-attackers.
“الحمد لله، ورمضانٌ مباركٌ دائم — [cough, cough] — I mean … My fellow Britons,” Labour Prime Minister Keir Starmer began. “In conjunction with our nation’s pride, the National Health Service, and our most cherished friends and neighbors, the knife-wielding community, we have determined to ban tobacco products for all British young people.”
